Young Folks
Peter, Bjorn & John
Lyrics

Anticipation A surprise favorite coming straight out of indieville, Young Folks appears to be popular with Europeans.
Vocals They're spot on, but sound a lot like talking. They put you into a sing-songy daze perfect for foot tapping.
Music It's catchy, especially at first. But it doesn't go anywhere. It very clearly sounds indie.
Verses Deep, intimate conversation between potential friends and more.
Chorus The conversation becomes a sing together. With sunburst sounds of joy the two find they want to be closer. Doesn't it sound so indy you want to throw up a little?
Hook What exactly does "We don't care about the young folks" mean? Seriously lacking.
Breakdown Whistling makes it's come back. It's like a Jetta commercial or something.
Lyrics The true mark of indie shows itself. But I'm yawning.
Hit Potential Low to moderate.
Final Note
HATE

I Want Your Soul
Armand Van Helden
Lyrics

Anticipation Giant dance artist release new track possibly the next Call On Me. Yes, that Call On Me with the strippercize video.
Vocals Blah blah blah. Sounds excellent. They're not what this track's about.
Music There's something about the synth that just grabs you. Very simplistic, but it works so so so well as the second-largest climax EVER.
Verses There are only three lines to this song; I felt ridiculous when I did a google search for them. As such, it's difficult to separate the verses from the chorus.
Chorus I really should be critical, but I don't have a problem with it. I guess there could be verses.
Hook I want ya!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want ya to be on my radio all day long!
Breakdown It leads to the biggest climax ever. Play it loud or don't bother.
Lyrics Frankly, they make no sense. Ok, they kind of do if you don't use soul literally. Surprising that it isn't just more blunt, then again, I Want Your Soul is a pretty bad ass name of a song.
Hit Potential None on mainstream radio. Pretty standard.
Final Note
LOVE

Gimme More
Britney Spears
Live Performance at VMAs

This is the first ever performance review for LMSP, but it only makes sense to expand in this new direction when pop is all about the sound and performance.

There is one problem, and only one problem, with Britney's VMA performance: commitment. Britney is not committed to the performance art--and apparently neither was her hair stylist as her flat, even length hair said over 30 and preggers with more than a hint of a stripper's apathy. Everything, from her robotic body movements to her lack of facial expression said that Britney was not back. She had no plans on playing the role of seductress anymore. She may have wanted to be a slave 4 U, but that time has come and gone, and now she doesn't really want more.

When I watched the clip, I felt like she was outdone by her backup dancers, which would have had a great show without Britney in the middle. There's Britney's pretend cover her mouth giggle, when it's clear she's not giggling. There's 50 Cent's face of confusion and Rihanna's orgasm by way of shadenfreude in the front row. You know who would have been great for this song? PCD.

Final Note
HATE

Clumsy
Fergie
Lyrics

Anticipation Don't wet your pants on this one, but I think this will be Fergie's next hit--almost sure of it. I've been saving this review, but now is the time as last weekend I finally heard it on the radio. I just can't hold it any longer.
Vocals Fergie works it bouncing between coy and innocent.
Music Sounds like there's an atari game in the background, and the jazzy chorus-lead in define this song.
Verses Strong performances. A full part of the song working hand-in-hand with the chorus.
Chorus The girl can't help it, it's just too catchy. But the drums, more than the lyrics, are what get stuck in my head.
Hook Is there one? I guess it's the music.
Breakdown I think I'd like this song better without the Fergie heart-to-heart.
Lyrics I'm not sure "clumsy" is the word to describe this song's subject. It works, but I could have imagined a song about being "clumsy" and "fumbling" as being more touchy feely in the literal sense.
Hit Potential Drink lots of water for this one, it's going to be HOT.
Final Note
LOVE

Umbrella
Marie Digby
Lyrics

Anticipation One of you loyal readers sent me this article about the manufactured-ness of pop, to which I say who cares. Pop is all about being fun to listen to, no matter how you find out about it or how good the artist is. It should be fun, catchy, and memorable. With that said, I decided to take on the artist, Marie Digby, who is a blatant liar about her climb to fame. But she does something that perhaps even she did not intend: Digby answers the Rihanna question.

The song has kind of had a life of its own, getting radio play and, where I heard it first, on an episode of The Hills, which really boosted its popularity. The artist also has history: she attended UC Berkeley for a year and even had a story in the Daily Cal for her singing ability at the time.
Vocals More sincere than Rihanna, the singing actually makes this song sound like it's about friendship and not electronic rain or something. But, c'mon, it's not like Digby's that much more talented than robotic Rihanna.
Music It's acoustic guitar. That's it.
Verses I like the verses understatedness, but the chorus is a much stronger performance.
Chorus Well sung, but boring with only acoustic guitar behind.
Hook BECAUSE...when the sun shines
Breakdown Wait, where's Jay-Z on this version?
Lyrics Whoa! It's a song!
Hit Potential It has a life of its own, although it's living off the original. Popular, but not a hit.
Final Note
LOVE

Gimme More
Britney Spears
Lyrics

Anticipation When America's Mickey Mouse Club superstar turned whore of a mother pop star is staging a comeback, the stakes don't really get any higher. Unless it's divorce. Or child custody battles. Or vag flashing. But then, that's just what it took to get Britney to her new place.
Vocals Britney doesn't really have to try on this song as no talent is required. It sounds more like talking than singing everywhere.
Music Reminiscent of I'm a Slave 4 U's more club oriented sound than radio appeal, Gimme More comes from the same vein. It's flat for a dance track, however. One might wish that the track gave us more.
Verses The song is actually the best in the verses. Britney shines in a low, red light.
Chorus Clearly the worst part of the song. It's only two words. Not even Britney can pull off a two word chorus.
Hook I guess it's the two word chorus.
Breakdown Instead of the breakdown, I'd like to discuss the intro. The first, radio-unfriendly line of the song had me ROFLCOPTERing. It will be the hook that everyone throws around. I already have started.
Lyrics
They're bad, even for a pop song. I don't understand why the slut trys to veil her desires through bad puns:

Center of attention, even when you're up against the wall You got me in a crazy position If you're on a mission You got my permission
Hit Potential I don't think it will be enough to stage a comeback a la Hung Up. This is definitely a Princess of Pop comeback.
Final Note
HATE

Me Love
Sean Kingston
Lyrics

Anticipation The follow up single to the MTV-censored-to-death-for-no-good-reason "Beautiful Girls", I was interested to see if Sean Kingston was a one trick pony.
Vocals Average performance. The backup are better than the lead.
Music It's a Carribean-esque track with big, proud steel drums and a reggae beat. I'm feeling the tropical heat just writing about it.
Verses The first a little slow, but you're getting in the tropix groove. Then comes the rhyming and you know you're looking for pina colada.
Chorus Ruled by the hook, the chorus could have drunk beach partiers going for hours.
Hook "Oh, oh, oh, oh, ooooohhhh, why'd you have to go away from home" is sooooooooooo fun!
Breakdown The break down sizzles up to the scorching hot final chorus.
Lyrics Miss you song belied by its fun Carribean beat.
Hit Potential Already on it's way up. It ends when the heat starts dissipating.
Final Note
LOVE

Don't Stop the Music
Rihanna
Lyrics

Anticipation After reading Pitchfork's review of Rihanna's latest album, Good Girl Gone Bad, I was anxious to hear more. I was also interested to see if Rihanna had more than Umbrella up her sleeve and if the other singles would leave me with the same question: What would this sound like if anybody but Rihanna had done it?
Vocals In a rather chant-like tone, Rihanna gets this song out on the beat. Production effects make it sound like she was carrying the note, but it's really just echo.
Music Sharp beats. I wish the beat that starts the song were used more, especially at the end. There's an MJ sample, particularly well used in the breakdown. It has a mashup-like quality.
Verses To steal a word, "robotic". Verses are toned down compared to the rest of the song, but still provide enough to dance out to.
Chorus Starts with a powerful crescendo of beat, sample, and saturated vocals. Rihanna could be saying anything to this beat-sample combo.
Hook While you can certainly sing-along, the song's a little flat.
Breakdown The MJ sample makes you wonder why the King of Pop was never making dance tracks.
Lyrics It's unfortunate that the more fun lyrics are in the verses where they're not highlighted and the chorus has rather dull ones. Every Rihanna song seems to fit "naughty" in someplace, as does this one.
Hit Potential I smell big success, but it won't reach the heights of Umbrella unfortunately.
Final Note
LOVE

I Got It From My Mama
Will.i.am
Lyrics

Anticipation Usually songs with any Black Eyed Peas members succeed, especially when it's all four together. With the BEP future undisclosed (with Fergie's solo career in progress), can the rest of the group find solo success?

Disclaimer: a lot of P2P searches turn up saying this song features Nicole from the Pussycat Dolls. It doesn't.
Vocals Will.i.am delivers a solid performance. The chick voice tight-ropes on a line of tweeniness and tartiness.
Music The beats are simple, and go on a little too long before a change up.
Verses I'm listening to this song on repeat, and I can't remember what the verse sounds like. Unremarkable apparently.
Chorus This track proves word economy has no impact on catchiness.
Hook Definitely there. A sugary "I got it from my mama" x4 is all it takes to have you coyly looking at yourself in your rear-view mirror reading the line with a different face each time.
Breakdown Made for a club, the "if you're pretty making some noise" will have crowds cheering. YEA-YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lyrics I'm left confused whether this song is praising mamas or hating on their daughters.
Hit Potential It'll get some respect from the masses.
Final Note
LOVE

I'm a Flirt
R. Kelly vs Broken Social Scene
Lyrics

Anticipation As opposed to the usual mashup problem (good song + good song = shit), I was told this one was more like good*good=good^2. And this was from a person without mathematical qualifications.
Vocals Do you remember Trapped in the Closet? The vocals are like that at the end of each line--an extension toward higher notes, similar to asking a question. So annoying. The MCing is pretty fast, though, R. Kelly doesn't do any of it.
Music Broken Social Scene brings the house down in this one. It makes the song both interesting and unique.
Verses Underwhelming. Most attention is focused on the MCs who spit words deadpan.
Chorus Clearly the best part of the song. Particularly the later chorus that also takes the place of the breakdown.
Hook The song really lacks a hook. "I'm a flirt" maybe singable, but it doesn't get stuck in your head.
Breakdown See chorus.
Lyrics There are a lot of words to this song, but none of them particularly interesting. I don't really wanting to worship R. Kelly by singing his ladies man warning to all the b/fs out there.
Hit Potential None. Mashups have no potential.
Final Note HATE